I think at times of becoming a nun. The life style appeals to me, at leas the life I things they have. It consists mainly of silence, contemplation, reading, studying of texts, helping out in the community, taking in visitors and taking care of them, teaching and living with only women. (It is the last part that appeals to me the most.)
At a moment of more indecision than usual, in the middle of a spiritual period I had a while back, I even looked up what kind of orders I could join, and was disappointed and discouraged. It would take long time--to not speak of the fact that most orders are catholic... Which does not appeal to me. Where is the vaguely protestant order which you can join and participate in after a year? Or even better, the agnostic order? I do like the idea of serving some kind of higher purpose, even if I don't believe in that Abrahamic god.
This is ridiculous and unrealistic, naturally. But nevertheless, I want to be in place of quiet and solidarity and where I am less and just part of a whole. Oh the quiet, and the space, and the slow passing of time.
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